The Hardest and Most Worthwhile Mindset
Why Optimism is the Best Cure for Anxiety
Happy Throwback Thursday, I have another post from the archives for your enjoyment and edification! The topic in this one has probably served as one of the best remedies to anxiety and the everyday brand of despair we seem to constantly be sold by media/marketing. It doesn’t come easy—hence the title I gave this post—but boy is it effective.
The Hardest and Most Worthwhile Mindset
May 23, 2024
I’ve really been enjoying a book which was recommended in yet another book I read (this happens to me more often than you’d expect). The book, Feeling Good by David D. Burns, MD., approaches the challenge of depression, and many of the negative cognitive distortions which go along with it, from the angle of CBT. I’ll touch on the various perspectives around mental illnesses/injuries in another post, don’t you worry.1 The original book I heard about it from, The Coddling of the American Mind, as well as a good portion of the intro for Feeling Good itself, mentions that many people have derived significant benefit in alleviating their depression simply by reading it. I’m definitely getting a lot from it, and this will be my attempt to share some of the “notes” I’ve definitely taken.😉
Optimism is the most practical outlook one can choose to have throughout their life, because over the course of history, life on Earth has only gotten better. Books like Sapiens and The Better Angels of Our Nature can attest to the fact that the humankind has done extremely well for itself, despite what the media want us to believe. For example, if you had gone back to the end of World War II and told the Japanese government about the state of their own economy and technological advancements a mere 50 years later, you would’ve been laughed out of the room, or potentially far worse!
The reason this rose-coloured outlook is so hard to maintain, at least from my perspective, is because the world around us at this point in time is so intent on focusing our attention on what’s wrong, who’s performing better than us, et cetera. The current incentive structure behind most forms of media has warped what we think is important based on ancient psychological survival mechanisms, and the result of that is that we don’t think life is as good as it is, and that we aren’t as fortunate to be alive as we are.2
Why I believe it is the most worthwhile mindset to conjure up on a regular basis (since there is no escaping the ever-changing nature of conscious awareness, although we can practice reframing our experience in beneficial ways), is because when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at themselves change. And changing the way we look at the world in a positive way causes the world to react in more favourable ways toward us. A fun exercise to prove this is to note the different responses you get from people you pass in your goings-on when you smile at them versus when you scowl at them! Or try giving someone a compliment on something they’re doing, and contrast that with times when you offer criticism.
Regardless the social experiments you choose to perform or not, having a default response to others of assuming positive intent is a great path to follow, not merely because it will result in more things going your way in social interactions and life, but because other people deserve being given the benefit of the doubt. We would appreciate it being given to us, after all.3
(I want to pause for a second to acknowledge that it may come across like I’m giving directions or making sweeping recommendations for my readers on how to live and which choices to make in their lives. While that may be true for the books I recommend y’all read…I want to assert that how one chooses to interpret my words is completely up to the individual reader, of course, however I am primarily writing suggestions which, on my best day, would reflect my optimum conditions for living, and the ways I have found work best in navigating daily operations on Earth. I fall short of my own impossibly high standards more often than I feel comfortable admitting; these are basically my collections of best practices for the selection and choosing of whomever desires to live life more effectively and authentically. And many of you will find that they don’t align with your interpretation of the universe, and that’s fine too. I merely hope you enjoy the read while you’re here 😊)
One of my key take-aways from the Feeling Good book, and the main reasons I’ll be adding it to our home library as soon as I can get my hands on a copy, is the use-cases of “cognitive therapy” in the author’s therapy practice; his approach to treating his clients, which he describes to great effect throughout the book. He describes 7 cognitive distortions (mind-reading, labelling, catastrophising, etc.) which contribute to depression, and how to effectively identify and neutralise them when they appear. We’ve all heard that knowledge is power—although I would amend that to be “Awareness is power”—and being aware of these tricks of the mind before they steer you into less-than-desirable states can very likely be all that’s required to flatten those dark tides.
I’m looking forward to sharing more with you soon,
2%
PS. It can be really difficult to convince oneself of the negative perceptions of others—that you did someone wrong by mistake and that they harbour ill will toward you for something unknown to you. This is what’s called the mind-reading cognitive distortion, which can feel just as real as any other thought, especially for those of us who haven’t practised mindfulness meditation. But I assure you, if this describes you to some degree, the people you cross paths with have their own world to contend with; they’re just as caught up in their own thoughts as you are, worried about what you think of them, and it’s almost never anything you did that is occupying their awareness. Rest easy, my friend. As I like to remind my exceedingly empathetic wife when she’s stressing over the perceptions of others: “They’re all too focused on themselves and what you think of them.”
At this point, I know I already have. Just search “mental health” or “mental illness” on The Modern Compass’s homepage and you’ll get several relevant articles
Kevin Kelly is one source of optimism I appreciate hearing from, as he is an incredibly insightful futurist who has some seriously keen advice for living.
Another worthwhile reminder (I need it more than most) is the gold or platinum rule—take your pick. Gold means do unto others as you would have them do to you, while the platinum rule levels the compassion up by treating others as they would like for you to treat them. It’s a key distinction, and takes a little more work, but in my opinion, could do nothing but benefit those relationships in our lives we choose to apply it to.
It’s lovely to see these posts resurfacing after a few years - a nice reminder of the perspectives you held and still hold ❤️